National Day of Listening

Have you ever noticed that many people find it hard to listen?  They are waiting to take their turn to talk, or some can't wait, so they jump right in to tell you what's on their minds.  Or better yet, they share how their problems are worse than yours.  But this Friday, we all get a chance to listen and record a conversation.

StoryCorps invites you to participate in this year's National Day of Listening, on Friday, November 27, 2009. On this day, StoryCorps encourages all Americans to set aside one hour to record a conversation with a grandparent, an aunt, a neighbor, a veteran, or a client at a local soup kitchen and ask the big questions, such as,

 

"How do you want to be remembered?" or, "What was the proudest moment of your life?"

National Day of Listening interviews can be conducted without spending any money, using recording equipment that is readily available in most homes—from cell phones and computers to tape recorders or even pen and paper.

Visit www.nationaldayoflistening.org to take the pledge to participate, to download a Do-It-Yourself Instruction Guide, and to share your National Day of Listening experience.

Their purpose is for all of us to create a more caring nation, just through the simple act of listening.  

If  you don't have time on November 27, make another date and talk to that special someone to record his or her story.

Change Your Behavior by Having Fun

This youtube video is so inspiring! The folks at Volkswagon believe that the easiest way to change people's behavior for the better is by making tasks fun to do. Simply called The fun theory. 

Do you have an idea that uses fun to help change behaviour?  Volkswagon invites you to easily enter the contest.

Just find your own evidence for the theory that fun is the best way to change behavior for the better--for yourself, the environment or something else. Then email Volkswagon.  The contest ends December 15. 

Having Fun Makes Learning Easier

In an article by Daniel R. Hawes, November 3, 2009 on the Psychology Today Blog, he wrote that all positive emotions have one thing in common:  “They broaden one’s perspective and motivate one to do things that will build skills or resources for the future.”

When you're having fun, you're at least more inspired to naturally change your behavior.  What the Volkswagon piano steps experiment found was that 66% of the people changed their behavior by taking the fun stairs instead of the escalator that was right next to it.

When I was in Verona, Italy this past September studying Italian whenever we played word games, the feeling dramatically changed in the room, even though we were adults over 19 years of age (some of us far beyond 19!). It was as though the synapses in our brains were rapidly firing, our hearts expanding as we laughed and banned together trying to find the matches for adjectives with opposite meanings. 

 With our flashcards, we’d find the words as quickly as we could use our dictionaries, or remember definitions. We’d connect the cards to create a circle on the table with the adjectives (aggettivi). To make the game even more fun, the class was divided into two teams competing to finish first.  It wasn’t as though we were going to win any award, but the game made us forget about the struggles we were having learning to speak a foreign language.

This month I’ve heard several clients and friends mention that they haven’t taken enough time to have fun. One friend said that when she works, she’s just nose to the grindstone and forgets to have any fun, because she’s so worried about money all the time.

 Have you forgotten to have more fun in your life?  Even if you’re not concerned about changing your behaviour, doesn’t it just feel better to take time out each day to play?  How could you even make your work more fun?

 

 

 

 

 

Inspiration: Hire the Heavens

Hiring the Heavens by Jean Slatter.  This is a small but powerful book that teaches you how to simplify your life by hiring heavenly helpers to support you and your dreams.

As Jean Slatter states, "Spiritual helpers stand ready and willing to be hired in the cocreative expression of our divinity." You may have your own way of connecting to the divine but I find 'hiring the heavens' very effective for employing divine assistance to invite miracles into your life. 

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could hire employees  to do some of the work that you can't humanly get to?  So, now, you can 'employ' divine assistance. Imagine there is a team of specialists that have talents and skills galore. They are also happy to help. Life will be less of a struggle too!Here are the 7 steps

1.) Name Your Committee. Take out a piece of paper and write the title of your spiritual committee on top.  For example, Perfect Job Committee.

2.) Define your mission statement. Describe why you're pulling this spiritual committee together. List our goals, and requirements.  "My perfect Job Committee will assist me in finding the job that...."

3.) List the Specialists You Wish to Hire. As Jean Slatter points out, "Start listing all the particular experts and attributes you'd like to include in your committee.  Your heavenly help will be standing over your shoulder providing inspiration and arranging the circumstances in magical ways.  You can even hire a prompter just to help you think of all the members you'll need to hire for this committee."

4.) Make a Task List.  Write the task list for your newly hired committee.  This is a detailed list that you can amend at any time. It's a great way to keep track of your progress.

5.) Launch Your Committee.  Launch with some sort of ceremony. Not required, but can make it more fun, like lighting a candle.

6.) Hold Staff Meetings.  Do this frequently. You may want to meet throughout the day or just when you feel the need. Meet at least once a day to stay clear on intention and keep a a close relationship with Spirit.  Talk to your group just as you would with an 'earthly staff.'

7.) Celebrate Your Successes. Be sure to say thank you. Celebration gratitude is their only form of payback for their hard work and attention on you.

Just be open, aware, and listen for what your spiritual workforce is trying to tell you. You will find more happiness in your life each and every day.

This little book has helped me to connect to Spirit in a more practical way than prayer has, even though I like to pray. You can do both. Usually I have a vague sense of what my committees look like and how many on each committee.

Last week, one of my clients in college was in a panic about a difficult term paper he had to write.  I finally told him about hiring the heavens and he laughed at me, but since he was desperate, he hired a committee that included a great writer, someone into psychology, a 'brainy' person, and an organized person.  He was shocked that within an hour he started writing with ease after a week of writers block.  Then the next day,he  found an amazing tutor at his college, with a doctorate degree who really helped him understand how to write.

How do you stay connected to the divine? What are your results?

Expectations and Disappointments

My hiatus from writing on this blog was only due to the fact that I was IN THE HAPPINESS ZONE IN ITALY FOR A MONTH. You can read more about me fulfilling my dream in my Italy Retreat Blog.

Lenora’s Three Ways to Handle Disappointments and Expectations

1.) Look at the things you like. For Italy, I romanticize its values as though it’s a utopia. I don’t complain about the government, nor the high unemployment, or how many people make up answers, or their relaxed work ethic. It’s hard to get anything done there. Because their primary goal is to enjoy life, this makes it difficult to get things done in a hurry.

No, I'd rather thrive on the la dolce vita part (the sweet life), the love part. The poster in my apartment in Italy was a picture of Albert Einstein with the quote, “Gravity cannot be blamed for people falling in love.” Who is to blame? Cupid and the muses? God? The evil spirits playing tricks on our beating hearts? Tricking us into thinking that what we expect in love will greet us and stay with us all the days of our lives? Love is the greatest force in the world, then why does it disappoint so often? Love is volcanic force. A force like the volcano under Yellowstone National Park. Love may disappoint if we have expectations that we're attached to, but love is the purpose of life on earth. It is what binds us to each other.

2.) Go do something else, something that knocks the socks off your feet. Shake it up like marbles in a can. As a kid, I remember saving marbles and loving the designs and colors like green cats eyes and solid royal blue. Marbles don’t disappoint. I shook up my usual, and taught a course in Italy and then studied Italian for three weeks.

Expectations are okay if you don’t get attached to them. Like the barnacles on the whale or the boat. How do they stay on just sucking and hold on for dear life? No expectations, great expectations, drop the expectations, to heck with the expectations!

3.) Find the good in everything. Remember the story about the teen who was given a horse and everyone said, "that was good luck". Then, he fell off the horse and broke a limb and everyone said, "that was bad luck". The army came through the village and all the young men were drafted except the teen with the broken limb. "That was good luck," everyone said. The boy said, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?" No matter your circumstances, you can begin the practice of choosing to be happy, finding the good in everything, and enjoying your life.
It's not the expectations, but the attachment to them that can hurt. What are your expectations? How do you dream big, have expectations for greatness, yet handle the disappointments?

Find out more on my f'ree teleclass, Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 7pm eastern. Register

Photo: Hunchback that brings good luck holding up a marble pillar in San Anastasia Church in Verona, Italy

Customer Service

ARE YOU READY FOR THE HYPERSENSITIVE CUSTOMER?

My friend and mastermind buddy, Marily Suttle, has written an important book called "Who's Your Gladys?" to help businesses enhance customer service. I don't know if it's just that people are worried about their lives more these days, or what's happening, but customer service seems to be on the downturn from both sides. Customers being more impatient with services and those who give service often being downright mean to their customers.

If you buy your copy today, September 15, at www.whosyourgladys.com you'll receive over 40+ electronic bonus gifts in customer service, sales, marketing and professional development.

As if businesses weren’t struggling enough these days, a recent study out of the U.K. has revealed the emergence of the “hypersensitive customer,” a consumer that has less cash, more information and less tolerance for poor customer service than ever before. The study, conducted by UK accounting and business consulting firm BDO Stoy Hayward, found that in the last 18 months, customers have become less loyal, as they realize how privileged retailers are to have their business. In fact, 48% of consumers admitted increasing their expectations over the past two years.

Customers are plugged in, with easy access to consumer reviews, detailed technical information and competitive product information. They have tighter budgets, so they’ve become more discerning in both the products they buy and the service they expect. 74% of respondents in the study said they wouldn’t purchase products and would leave the store if they encountered what they deemed to be poor service.

Are you and your business ready for the arrival of the hypersensitive customer? If not, now is the time to examine your customer service practices and get them in line with the needs of today’s consumer.

There’s a new customer service book on stores shelves and online resellers that can help you manage this new breed of consumer.

When you order “Who’s Your Gladys?” today, you get a special package of 40+ electronic bonus gifts in customer service, sales, marketing and professional development. [One of my CD's that give you "10 Ways to Be Happy" is one of the free gifts.]

Buy your copy today at www.whosyourgladys.com.

I also enjoyed watching this playful Whose Your Gladys book trailer and I think you will too: www.youtube.com/whosyourgladys

For a wonderful blog post with lots of research about customer service, read Small Hands Big Ideas by Grace Boyle. She's an avid researcher and business developer at one of Boulder's stellar start-up companies, Lijit. And she is my wonderful daughter!

What customer service tips do you have? Share your experiences as a customer or service provider in 'comments.'

Q & A: The Option Method for Happiness

Many of you have asked about the coaching and mentoring that I do, and why I named this blog The Happiness Zone. The main reason is because I believe that the glory of life on earth is to expand our possibilities. I like to discover and share possibilities that may help us to be happier. In these economic times, it becomes even more evident that our source of happiness and peace comes from within. So, to stay in the 'happiness zone' will give us great support and ease.

We've come to a time in our lives, in the United States and other developed countries, that what we depended upon or took for granted, is no longer stable, like the banking system. I guess the trust was only an illusion anyway. As people are losing their jobs, facing foreclosures, and increased prices, it's crucial that we not be taken down by pessimism or doom and gloom. Therefore, keeping my blog alive with tips and inspiration for happiness is my way of creatinge more joy in the world.

Most of my teaching and coaching is based on The Option Method and I will explain it by answering some of the common questions my readers have asked me.

Q: What is the Option Method?
A: I know many people think I trade options on Wall Street when they hear the name! That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The Option Method that I’ve been using for 18 years, is a dialogue--a self inquiry system of questions that helps you Uncover, Question, Explore and Dissolve limiting beliefs and conflicting emotions. [UQED.]
It is a method that actually can help you discover life-enhancing options for reacting to situations, instead of self-defeating ones. The choices we make in life stem from our belief system. If we believe something is bad, then we believe we should feel bad. It's not the event that is the problem but the meaning we attach to the event. By changing our perceptions, we can actually be happier. It’s a priceless tool to be able to be happy even before our lives are lined up just right. Once we realize there are other options to our default emotions and to our limiting beliefs, we see greater possibilities. We actually question the thoughts that made us unhappy in the first place. Through a series of questions, we explore unhappy feelings and limiting beliefs. Simply stated, once we find that our limiting beliefs are not true, then they dissolve and along with them, the conflicting feelings.

Q: How long has the Option Method been around?
A: About four decades ago, the late Dr. Bruce Di Marsico, created a series of respectful questions that were based on acceptance of his clients. In addition, acceptance or non-judgement is part of the self development process--learning how to accept ourselves and those around us.


You may explore any feelings that keep you stuck in a place that won’t move forward. Feelings that hold you back or prevent you from having friends, being successful in life.
Feeling fear, anger, worry, anxiety, discouragement, rejection and other possibly unwelcome feelings are reflections of your thoughts. Find out how to identify and calm your fears. The Option Method offers you a way to look at life differently, with a fresh perspective.
The reason you feel discomfort, is because of your belief system. The premise is that if you are unhappy, it’s probably because you are believing something that’s not true. Once you find out a belief is no longer true, it starts to dissolve and along with it, the unhappy feeling.
You move away from a peaceful state when you believe an untrue thought, such as “I’m not good enough.”
I ask you questions when I’m mentoring, so you can identify your unhappiness. Basically, you become more conscious and responsible for your feelings and the results in your life.

Q: What do you mean by unhappiness?
A: It does not mean you are necessarily sad or depressed, although you may be. What I mean by unhappiness is any feeling you have that you don’t like feeling. Some of the many feelings could be disappointment, discouragement, overwhelm, or rejection. Some of us experience unhappiness as a sense of hopelessness or just being stuck in a rut.

Q: What are limiting beliefs and why question them?
A: A limiting belief is a perception of reality, a conclusion you came to, or something you were told you had no reason to doubt.
When we think a thought, physiological changes occur in every organ and system of our body. Therefore, Our bodies experience our thoughts as feelings or emotions. Wise teachings since the beginning of time has strongly encouraged us to change our thinking. “As a man thinketh, so he is.” To see a list of common self-defeating beliefs, please click here. LINK TO top 30 for men and women RENATA
Q: How is your coaching different than therapy? First, unlike other modalities, the Option Method does not ask you to replace an old belief with a new one. This means that once you find that the limiting beliefs are no longer true, they begin to dissolve like ice in sunshine. You begin to feel relief and happier because simultaneously the unwelcome feelings you grew accustomed to, change with the beliefs.
Secondly, as an Option Method mentor, I am not diagnosing or giving advice. I just help you find your own voice to make your own decisions. I hold with the premise that you are the best expert on your own life. You may have gotten confused along the way and you just need to get clearer by uncovering, identifying and transforming the beliefs behind the uncomfortable feelings.
Q: How long does a session last?
A: Each session is 55-60 minutes long. I work in person or on the phone. Both are highly effective. My job is to listen, without any judgments or assumptions. This means that I accept you where you’re at without expectations. I’ll help you uncover the beliefs underlying your uncomfortable feelings and the result is more peace and happiness.
In my 18 years of working with people, I’ve been trained to be a good listener, with a loving accepting attitude.

Q: How long does it take to get rid of limiting beliefs? You could experience a huge ‘aha’ moment in your first session. I don’t know how long it will take to dissolve your limiting beliefs but in my experience anyone who is open to exploring their blocks, move forward. They feel relief. I think having the Option Method dialogue questions as a lifelong tool will always help you when daily situations challenge you.
The more consistent you do a series of sessions, I think the greater the results, but again, don’t get hung up on ‘how long.’

Do you have other questions? Let me know in the 'comment' area. As Voltaire so aptly stated,
"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers."

Lenora interviews Marci Shimoff, author of Happy For No Reason

Marci Shimoff is the author of Happy for No Reason, co-author of six Chicken Soup for the Soul Books, and featured teacher on the movie The Secret.
I've mentioned before that Marci introduced me to my husband, Jay, 29 years ago. Even though he and Marci were friends, she didn't know he was moving across the country to California. As fate would have it, he was moving to Santa Monica for a year. Jay and I became good friends, eventually started dating, and a year later we were married. So, even though Marci has inspired thousands of audiences around the world, I tell her that introducing us is her greatest success.

Anyway, whenever Marci and I get together, we talk about happiness, relationships, love, life and how it all fits together. This summer I interviewed her about her latest book that is chock full of happiness tips.

Please click here to listen to my interview with Marci.

Please take the time to listen to the interview but here are a few main points we cover on the subject of HAPPINESS:

1.) Research has shown that we're bad at assessing what will make us happy. It's a myth that once we get something, we'll be happy. We get acclimated to that thing and then get UNHAPPY again.

2.) Practice changing your habits. There's a whole section in her book on the power of our mind and our beliefs. (You can find me in that section of the book). Many people even have the limiting belief that they can't change their habits.

3.) The number one question people ask Marci is, "What do I do about the negative people around me--people who blame, gossip, look at the half empty glass?" Research shows we catch the emotions of the people around us. Spend more time with uplifting people and build your own emotional immune system so you don't take on the negativity of those around you.

4.) The most interesting piece of research is about the happiness setpoint we each have, which is like our weight setpoint where we hover around the same weight. Similarly, no matter what happens, we return to our happiness setpoint UNLESS we do something about it. Many people say, "If I could win the lottery, I'd be really happy!" In reality those who've won return to their original level of happiness within 6 months. 50% of our happiness setpoint is hereditary, BUT 50% we CAN CHANGE. Raise your happiness thermostat like raising the thermostat on your furnace.

We can even change our DNA when we raise our happiness level.

What is your happiness set point? Do you have the tendency of being upbeat like Mary Poppins or glum like Eyore? Would love to hear from you. Just remember, we can change that setpoint!
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